tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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