it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Come see our sink grown plant.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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