did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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