bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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