He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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