so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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