i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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