what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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