I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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