The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
