no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
