Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
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Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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