What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
