At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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