I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
