I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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