This is not my ceiling
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
