She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
