I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
