Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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