there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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