Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
