i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
