Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
