you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
