meet me or not, i'm out of control
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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