Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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