I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Brb crying the tears of my youth
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
