he puts the penis in happiness.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
