This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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