So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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