So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
