Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
