Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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