I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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