i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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