You really coming over, don't trick.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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