8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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