i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
