If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
