You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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