We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
