i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
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she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
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I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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