grandma shit on top of the toilet
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
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