You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
