Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
