This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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