im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
