Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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