Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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