Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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