It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
