Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.