Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.