She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize