just sent my roommate on a cheese run
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
In other news, I just burned my penis
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.