u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
