Do you still have your period?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
