i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
