At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
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we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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