Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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