im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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