Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So much rum. So many feels.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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