we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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