Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
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He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
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I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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