Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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