They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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