ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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