Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
