He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
