We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
