I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
