I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
