You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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